Librarian and so many others

The other day I was at the local library. I went about my business collecting a dozen books to read with my kiddos. As I'm checking my books out Katie Joy is sitting in the stroller making all sorts of babbling noises. A librarian comes over and begins to talk to her. She attempts to tickle Katie's legs and says, "Oh I just love your cute shoes." Katie has Sure Step shoes that fit over her AFOs. Currently we are waiting for our orthotist appointment to get them adjusting so to keep her toes covered we just have shoes on her. Because Katie didn't react to being tickled the librarian looks up at me and says, "She's not very ticklish huh?" I smiled and said, "No she's not but really she can't feel that. She's paralyzed from her knees down. She has Spina Bifida." I was polite and pleasant. The librarian looks at me with a pity and surprised look and asks about it. I explain a bit, mostly sharing what happened when she was born. As I tell the story the librarian begins to tear up. After we finish our small conversation she gives me an encouraging pat on my shoulder as we part ways.

I don't know what to think about these encounters. It happens more often than I expected. I dislike the pity looks. The looks that say, "oh you poor little thing." However, I love that I can share her story. I hate that I make people cry. I love that in the end I get to share perspective and joy. Sometimes I feel like I need a therapist. I need to be able to tell one person the entire story start to finish without them crying. I understand why people cry. It's disturbing to think you can have a nearly perfect pregnancy, a few problems but nothing too terrible, and then within just a few hours everything changes. It's hard to look at such a little girl and think about her having brain surgery.... twice. It's shocking to meet someone paralyzed who is only 1 year old.

At a local indoor playground a man sees Katie playing on the floor with her leg twisted. Oh, my incredible flexi-baby. It completely freaked him out. It made me giggle a bit. I suppose this is improvement. I used to cry. You never want your child to be paralyzed. Somehow though, there are moments when it can be funny.