Things have settled a bit in the busyness factor of life just in time to speed back up again. We have had multiple appointments with our nuerosurgeon who says her shunt is working that way it is supposed to. First Steps physical therapy is underway. No "new" things report. Our next Riley appointment is in August.
I have really hard moments still when I think Katie will react to her foot being one way or another and she doesn't. It really breaks my heart that she has no feeling from her knees down. My poor beautiful girl. She has no idea what it's like to have her toes tickled and playing 'this little piggy' has a different sentiment than with Ada. I do not waiver on God's goodness. I do not doubt He can heal her but I can't help but still be broken about it. I don't wallow in depression. I don't feel constantly down, but I do feel a huge responsibility to be the best mom I can. I'd be lying if I said I don't have angry moments because I do. I think, "haven't I been through enough??Growing up in an angry home, 2 family murders, an abusive boyfriend and a heartwrenching ministry catastrophe in Florida.. that isn't enough?" Then I have to step back. It really isnt about me and how many things I've gone through. Besides that I get to be the mommy of 2 beautiful children, the wife to an amazing husband, attend an incredibly supportive church and have an amazing relationship with the family I grew up thinking I wanted nothing to do with. I am blessed.
Spina Bifida won't define me or my family but it will create a venue for us to speak with others, a connection with people we never dreamed, It is a constant reminder that lfe is taken for granted and we get to be on a journey that we are not in complete control of. I am grateful for my girls and the man that is my husband and their father.
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